Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
