i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
