I smell stomach acid.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
