So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
