We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
