Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
