It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
