Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
