David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
