Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
