please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize