No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
