i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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