Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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