whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
