Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
