no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
