You can't motorboat a personality
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
