don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize