before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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