Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
