his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
there was a trapeze. enough said
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
