Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
