Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think i peed on brittanys purse
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
