i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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