he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
