I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
then he tried to convert me to islam
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
