I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
