Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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