Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
