I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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