You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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