I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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