He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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