She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize