i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
