Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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