I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
