even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
