I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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