Small penises have feelings too.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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