I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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