we have officially lost it.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
