oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
