The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize