Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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