why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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