also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
