his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
