I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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