come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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