i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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