I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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