Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
